Emma Cummings

My short review I want to die Sample movie: /emmacummings/emmasample.wmv Visit her page:   Ratings Loading votes All users rated her: My rating:

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Goddamn where do they find these boring ass, plain jane chicks? She looks like the troll at the liquor store that when she reaches up for my bottle of Whiskey, I can see her unwashed thong and ass crack below her tribal back tattoo.


I'd prefer an afternoon of smelling rottweiler farts and getting called an asshole by my ex wife while I piss in my own mouth to have to watch this girl's shitty attempt at porn again.


It's like watching a car wreck, only instead, it's the tangled mess of her floppy vagina and butthole getting plowed by dicks. I'm going to go choke myself with the power cord of my laptop until I forget this fucking travesty of pornography. This girl should be somewhere asking me if I want fries with that and not trying to permanently paralyze my cock with her horrible performance that caused my testicles to shrivel up in protest. I think my right nut is somewhere up in my guts beating on my kidney, and my left nut is behind my knee smoking crack.


In fact, I am so pissed off about this, you know what I'm going to do about it?

First off, I am going to write a fucking hand written letter on the back of Playboy Magazine from 1988 with that bitch Eloise Broady who I've jacked off to about 20,000 times in my fucking life to because I get off on that shit and NOT FUCKING EMMA CUMMINGS. Oh, yeah I am going to write this letter to Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and be like "Fuck you guys, fix Media Player so that if Emma Cummings is in a movie it will blur that shit out. Your software needs to protect my dick against ugly bitches. p.s. Fuck you." then after I send that off, I am going to email congress and tell them how shitty Emma Cummings is, and hopefully they will draft up a bill to either ban her vagina from the internet, or send her to Iraq.

Second, I am going to petition porn companies world wide to avoid ever allowing a penis to enter her. I mean, maybe she can eat a good dick, however, anything that penetrates her is like pouring hot acid into my eyes. In fact, I am going to goto my 84 Camaro and pop the fucking battery open and see how much my fucking eyes burn in comparison to watching this slut get fucked. Chances are, it will feel like a gentle massage, compared to when I watch this chick it feels like someone is ramming molten, razor sharp shards of glass into my fucking eyes and balls at mach 9. Like as if I was standing in the fucking NASA ROCKET FUCKING ENGINE proving grounds and they said "Yep fire up the Emma Cummings cannon of disgust" and then fired her vaginal pubes sharpened to .0001 of a nano fucking meter right into my ocular cavities in the hopes that the memory of her vagina is not only etched into my brain, but also into my very FUCKING soul so that when I die I will see no heaven, no hell, not even a white light, but Emma Cumming's terrible fucking sarlacc pit of a vagina for fucking eternity.


I got an email from a fan of hers, he wanted to know where to find her...

Find her... here.

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